Character Education

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Train Up a Child with Good Moral Character

Although I didn’t realize character education would be a central theme in our homeschool, it has emerged as a top priority. Once we brought our children home, we realized that morals and values, more so than academics, will define our children as they grow into adults.

An excellent definition is provided by the United States Air Force Academy. It states that character is made of “qualities of moral excellence which compel a person to do the right thing despite pressure or temptations to the contrary.”

Some common values education goals for families that are homeschooling include honesty, obedience, courage, loyalty, good work ethic, fortitude, and good manners. The home is the best place to develop these qualities. I used the word develop on purpose because it is not enough to “teach” these traits, they have to be internalized by the child.

There are multiple influences in moral development including life experiences, modeling by important adults and older youth, peer influence, the general environment, the media, schools and churches. Homeschooling your child won’t eliminate any of these factors; however, it gives parents ultimate control over the exposure to the factors and quick intervention opportunities should a conflicting viewpoint arise.

Children are faced with an internal dilemma when exposed to a situation or behavior that differs from the ones they encounter at home. If parents are available to guide them through the thought process, the child is clear on how to make the right choice and validated when they follow through.

Children aren’t born with good character. Schools often provide “character lessons” that are taught independently of all other subjects.

At home, character education comes naturally. The Bible instructs us to impress God’s commandments on our children. “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (NIV) Teaching values takes time, patience and repetition.

Example

First, teach by example. If you want your child to have a good work ethic, you need to model that behavior on a daily basis. “Do as I say, not as I do,” does not produce results when it comes to building character.

Talk

Talk about values. The "heat of the moment" is probably not the best time for character education.

We actually have a “manners” lesson each morning. This is one of the few times I “teach” character. These lessons take several forms depending on my goal. For example, we may role play an upcoming situation. Before attending a wedding we practice what to do if you spill on your dress, what to say to Aunt Becky who you haven’t seen since you were two, and how to act at the reception. We may have a few wedding "role plays" during the months before the actual event.

Sometimes the manners lesson is a reminder of things we need to use every day. For example, I’ll say, “ Today try to remember to look at people’s faces when you speak to them." Then, I make an extra effort to watch for and praise the appropriate behavior the rest of the day.

When you are watching TV, you can comment on behaviors you see and discuss why they are or aren’t examples of good character according to your family’s standards.

Respect

Show respect to others and expect the same from your children. If your child sees you berating the grocery store clerk for not having banana peppers in stock, your child will think they can follow suit.

This also means you should show your child respect. Children are younger, not less worthy of respect. Showing your children respect mean your rules are fair and clearly understood, and have reasonable consequences for disobedience. Colossians 3:20 is often quoted by parents. “You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord.” But don’t forget what verse 21 says…”Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.” (NLT)

Read some thoughts on teaching respect in a Christian homeschool.

Serve

Children need to have experience serving others. This can be at home or in the community. Younger children can serve by helping set the table or raking leaves. Older children can serve at a soup kitchen, nursing home or on a mission trip. There are so many opportunities to help others. In a world where “what’s in it for me” is the mantra, service is becoming a lost art. I have found it to be a real blessing to serve along side my children. Each week we organize and restock our church’s pre-school rooms to get ready for Sunday morning. They don’t always love to go, but we honor our weekly commitment and I’m sure the lessons they are learning will last a lifetime.

Read about doing service projects with youth organizations.

Expectation

Set high standards for your children’s character education. Don’t be afraid to expect excellence. You’ll be glad you did.

Family Times has excellent materials for character education. Click here to visit their site.

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