Social Disadvantages of Homeschooling

There are some social disadvantages of homeschooling. First, understand the difference between socialization and a social life? Socialization is the process by which people learn to live in and function effectively in society. You do not have to attend school to learn to live in our culture. Social life is the building of interpersonal relationships between people. You also don't have to attend school to have a social life.

Homeschoolers learning to function in society is covered on the homeschool socialization page. Some homeschool families are not concerned with their children having a "social life," but I think it is important for kids to have friends that they enjoy being around and who share the same interests. With that in mind, here are three social disadvantages of homeschooling as it pertains to a social life.

1. Making and keeping friends with the same interests requires time and effort.

If you homeschool, your child will not automatically see dozens of other kids every weekday and have the opportunity to find some that they would like to be friends with. Even if you live in a neighborhood with other children who frequently meet in the cul-de-sac to play, the children in your neighborhood may or may not be good "friend" candidates for your child for a variety of reasons. (I know this has been the case for us in the past.) You may live in a rural area with no children nearby (like our situation now.)

If either of these describe your situation, you are going to have to invest extra time and effort into finding potential friend and then arranging get togethers appropriate for the kids to explore that relationship.

Once your child finds some friends, you are going to have to make an extra effort to arrange times to get together. They will not have the luxury of seeing each other on the school bus or on the playground at recess. You will definately have to be active in your child's social life. (This may not be one of the social disadvantages of homeschooling, but it could be a financial disadvantage if you have to drive all over town and the gas prices continue to rise!)

2. Your child probably won't know all the latest trends - unless you want them to.

I know many homeschoolers who aren't aware of the latest fashion trends or the hottest new toy for the Christmas list. For the most part, my kids know about them, but their life doesn't revolve around knowing about all the latest "stuff." They have been in situations where other kids have made them feel "dumb" for not knowing about one thing or another, but thankfully, I have been able to build enough self confidence in them that the few embarassments they have are quickly forgotten.

3. Homeschoolers generally have a good rapport with adults.

Yes, it's true. My teenagers can carry on an intelligent conversation with adults, as can most other homeschool teenagers I know. (Of course, there are always exceptions.) Again, since I am talking about the social disadvantages of homeschooling, I'm not going to spin this to make it a benefit (as I really would like to do.) The reason this is a disadvantage is again related to social life rather than socialization. Socialization would require that people (adults) relate to other adults. However, many kids have snickered and pointed and whispered to their friends when my children are polite and have a lengthy conversation with an adult (that the adult seems to enjoy!) They have questioned my children about why they would want to talk to or *gasp* be nice to someone in authority. This was hurtful to the girls when they were younger, but again the pain didn't last long. Now that they are older, they think their peer is "dumb." As you can imagine, it would probably be hard for my kids to build a meaningful social life relationship with a peer who can't relate to adults.

Of course all the social disadvantages of homeschooling are all in the eye of the beholder. They can be overcome with training and effort.

Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

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