Homeschool Socialization

To some, the biggest arguement against homeschooling is socialization. For example, "How do those homeschool kids ever learn to function without being in school?"

But is this arguement really one of the cons of homeschooling vs. public schooling that should cause concern? This question brings my thoughts back to high school. I'll admit I was social. I was an honor student, but if you asked me what I liked about school my answer would be seeing my friends. I usually picked a seat in the back of the room and whispered to those around me. When I did, guess what happened? If you were raised in a traditional school setting, you probably heard it more than once...."Young ladies, we are NOT here to SOCIALIZE!"

Why is it that our culture assumes school is the only place children learn to interact with others? Is it the 20 minute recess before lunch? Or maybe it's the six minutes between classes?

Many people have a mental image of a homeschool family as one that only ventures out once in a blue moon to the grocery store with nine children in tow. This is far from reality. In fact, homeschool children have as many or more "intimate" friends than many children who are enrolled in school. When I say "intimate", I am referring to a quality, trusting, mutually benefical relationship that is nurtured over time.

By definition, socialization is the process by which children learn to function in society. The age grouping organization used by traditional schools does not mirror the reality of the adult world. How many work environments can you name that only have employees who are within 1-2 years of age of each other? Churches? Civic groups? Probably none.

Just because someone is considered "socialized" while they are in school, does not necessarily mean they will "fit" in society when they leave that controlled setting. The most "popular" guy in school may turn out to be a teacher, a rocket scientist, or a criminal later in life. School socialization is only an indicator for success in one area: a school environment.

There are other areas where children learn relationship skills: family and community. These are the areas of importance for homeschool families and they often put forth an extra effort to make sure their children have plenty of opportunity to interact with others in their family and community.

Since homeschoolers aren't in a school building 6-8 hours per day, they have more time to interact with people of all ages in the community. They learn to function in society at the grocery store, church, bank, nursing home, library, and through various activities and clubs like 4-H, sports teams and group lessons, like art or dance. The relationships and friendships that are formed during these outings can be nutured and encouraged in a natural setting.

The opportunity for extra time with friends is available as well. Play date and "hang out" times are more flexible since school hours are not a rigid 8:00-3:00 with a backpack full of homework to complete in the evening. Not surprisingly, most of these extra times with friends are spent exploring mutual interests rather than discussing the latest gossip from the cafeteria.

If you need more concrete examples, check out this book on homeschool socialization...

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